I Love My Imperfect Him
1994, First Semester, UB Arts and Sciences Building, although I cannot remember the exact date, but what happened on that day seems like yesterday. Our classroom was near the stairs, and as I was ascending up, you were standing in the corridor, wearing a Light Blue Jacket, waiting for your friend Kano, who was my classmate that time. We were just strangers back then.
The next semester, our second encounter was during our Drawing 101 Class. Oh my, you hardly speak and were so snobbish, and it was just a regular, oh we were just classmates, and that is it. Nothing interesting as they say.
1995, second semester enrollment day when we had a chance encounter again. It was in the engineering Dean’s office, and we were busy getting class cards for our schedules. And we accidentally bumped with each other, and this time face to face. And who can forget that words that you have uttered, although it was in Tagalog, …BAH ang GANDA MO? And a tomboyish girl like me back then had felt I have the longest hair (ANG HABA NG HAIR KO GIRL hehehe). I think aside from my parents, it was the first time I heard that compliment from someone especially from a guy. I admit, I got tickled (Kilig) although I did not take that seriously, Char!
We became neighbors, to a walk to school companion, then from walking buddy to drinking buddy, tossing one barrel every time we went out lol. Although you did not admit, I think you loved hearing my singing voice on our videoke nights. But it was on December 15, 1996, after we drank the whole night, we had a serious talk, wanting to end the friendship since we were hurting someone (your gf?) but instead of ending, we just realized we were both falling for each other, and that started it all, our love story. We did not get sleep, but we still attended our first Simbang Gabi, officially as a couple.
Well, to cut the story short, our love story is not the traditional, no courtship and a straightforward one. I do not even remember if we had a big fight back then, but all I know was that we jibed and eventually became too attached with each other. Our first child was unplanned and untimely, but although we were both not ready, and you still stood up on the responsibilities.
And I am making this letter not because I want to patronize our love story or to make a blast on the past. From day one, a lot had changed, of you and of me. I almost gave up on us and a lot of times I thought on to give up on you, oftentimes I thought I do not deserve this life with you and always thinking that don’t I deserve to be free of this pain anyway nor I don’t want to make an impression to others that experiencing this pain is okay after all. I came to realized the reasons why all through these years, how did I love you…I loved you because… you are not my ideal guy, you are not romantic, you are not thoughtful, you don’t care enough, you are immature, you only think of yourself, you always contradict me, you don’t compliment me, Duh, what else could I say more... Oh my, there are a lot of reasons to unloved you? And although I have all the reasons to do so, unloving you is the last thing I would do until my last breath in this world.
Our marriage was not an easy road. There were a lot of downs rather than ups, I must say. A lot of mistakes had been made, but no relationship is perfect after all. But no matter what happened, and how painful they were be, what matters most is we continue to grow as parents to our three beautiful children.
I love you and I always do. And with God’s grace all wounds could be healed, and all scars will just be a reminder of those wounds, as we continue to forgive, understand, accept each other. And someday, as we looked back again, we will just laugh at, and be grateful of those times.
From my thought, and I just want to emphasize that each of us had our own choices, and as I said, I don’t want to make an impression that is okay to be hurt or suffer betrayal especially of someone you have trusted so much. From that experience, I had an option to get away from the pain, which is to give up on our marriage, but I chose to stay, let go slowly and let everything to God and believed that everything happened for a reason, and only God's perfect time will tell the reason why.
And on the lighter note, here are a few quote collections that can give you inspirations on love and relationship.
“Being in love is all about the ability to give rather than take. It is not easy, but if you can accept this, then you will experience love.” – Sushmita Sen
“Love makes us invincible. Always be in Love. Life is not always about winning, It's about never surrendering.” – Mimi Novic
“True love always makes a man better, no matter what woman inspires it.” – Alexandre Dumas
“The course of true love never did run smooth.” – William Shakespeare
“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller
“True love stands by each other’s side on good days and stands closer on bad days.” – Anonymous
“Sometimes two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together.” – Anonymous
“Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” – Kathy Mohnke
“I love you not because of what you have, but because of who you are.” – Debasish Mridha